As I was saying...

Super-Fiance and I had a lovely dinner with lovely people last week, and a part of our conversation got me thinking. We were chatting about how our wedding planning process is going, and I sort of ungracefully fell all over myself in apologizing for what I felt was a blatant takeover of the conversation (in hindsight, I think it was really ok). I fear I've been a bit hyper-aware of talking about wedding stuff, not talking about wedding stuff *too much*, and making sure nobody gets annoyed that there's so much talk about wedding stuff. In case you didn't already know, I can worry with the best of 'em.

Anyway, in my zeal to shield those around me from All Things Wedding and to maintain my status as a well-rounded individual (not a whole lot would make me more sad than the prospect that someone thinks I, in my bridehood, want only to discuss my own nuptials), I've been saying a lot of "... right, so that's going well, but how are YOU?" and "oh, it'll just fall into place. how's things with your [job, kids, spouse, whatever]," and other phrases of deflection. In the conversation over last week's dinner, though, I didn't get away with it, and as it turns out, I'm so pleased.

I realized that, rather than shying away from the topic as a glaring mark of conceit, it can actually be embraced as a way of connecting with people. If we hadn't been talking about our wedding and how we're trying to create the day and celebration that's right for us, we wouldn't have heard about our companions' wedding, what made it special to them, and how they arrived at some of the elements they remember most vividly. I mean, really, in most ordinary conversations, it would be more than a little odd for someone to interject "so, hey, our wedding four years ago was so much fun. let me tell you about the best parts..." but in the context of a discussion of marriage that's already begun, it's a really nice sentiment of advice and commonality, and it's perfectly logical. Almost everyone has either had a wedding or been in a wedding or been *to* a wedding, and all of those experiences -- and resulting commentaries -- are fun to hear about.

This is a fun time that we're in, Super-Fiance and I. For several months now, we've been lamenting what feels like forever of a wait until we'll be married, but on the way home from dinner last week, we talked about how lucky we really are that various circumstances conspired to give us a 17-month engagement. Never again will people be so delighted to hear what kind of flowers we like to look at and what kind of music we like to dance to and what kind of cake we like to eat. Never again will people be compelled to share so much of themselves and their thoughts on their own relationships. Well, I suppose they will, but not in quite the same way. We've decided to listen and ask questions and learn and enjoy it all.